You might have read here or heard through our Goalworks groups about OAR-BED (see previous blog post on OAR-BED here) and committing to living above the line. To refresh your mind, OAR-BED stands for;
The basic premise of OAR-BED is to live by the qualities ‘above the line’ (there is supposed to be a line between 'Responsibility and Blame - stupid web editor :)). When we take Ownership of our lives, are Accountable and hold others to account, and take Responsibility for our own actions, we are empowered to live the lives we want to live, do the things we want to do, and achieve the things we want to achieve.
When we fall ‘below the line’, we are handing over our control to others. When we blame others for our failings, make excuses for not following through on a commitment (to ourselves or others), or live in denial about why we aren’t succeeding/why we seem to come up short a lot/or why we are failing miserably, we are doing ourselves a great disservice.
We all go ‘below the line’ from time to time. Some people live there, some spend a lot of time there. More often than not, these types of people are what we know as ‘victims’. They do not take control of their lives.
When it is always someone else’s fault when something goes wrong, what chance have you ever got of taking control of your life and getting to where you want to be?
The trouble is, most of us don’t actually realise how much we do go below the line. It can become a bad habit, and a difficult one to break if we are not aware of it. Are you aware of just how much you do it?
Here is a little technique I have borrowed (ok, stolen) which may help you become more aware of when you do dip below the line, and help you kick the habit.
First, write the words OAR-BED on something where you will see it (in your diary, a piece of paper to stick on the fridge, on the back of your hand, somewhere you will see it each day.. whatever works for you). This is just to reinforce the definition of above and below the line behaviours.
Next, take a rubber band that is slightly larger than your wrist, and place it over your hand so that it is around your wrist. Now, the very next time that you catch yourself going below the line ie, blaming someone else for something that went wrong that you had control over, making excuses for not following through on something, or not being truthful with yourself (denial), you are going to pull that rubber band back and let it go to give you a nice sharp snap on the wrist. The further below the line you go, the bigger the snap and thus the more sting you need to give yourself.
The purpose of this is to give you an anchor to stop you dipping into this undesirable zone. Try this for a week at least. You may get a few strange looks, or questions… but hey, when they ask, just tell them you are stopping yourself going below the line. They will either understand, or think you are losing it.. either is good for a laugh.
Don’t forget, there are a couple of spaces left in the next Goalworks group. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org for more information, or leave your details through the contact page and we will get back to you.
Have a great week guys!